Recently I had an a-ha moment that has significantly changed my outlook. I was an avid believer that if I did not exercise every day, I would become “feral”. At best a bit out of sorts, at worst grumpy and fractious. This was a narrative that held sway over my day - When would I be able to exercise? What needed to move or be cancelled to allow me to do this activity that I told myself made me calm and happy?
My a-ha moment came when I realised that I was considering not having brunch with family members on a gorgeous day so that I could go for a run. I’d exercised the day before and would have plenty of time the following day to run. Why was I considering opting out of family time, something that aligns solidly with my values and that I enjoy?
When I looked inward with complete honesty, I started to realise that I was fused with an idea of myself, and that I liked the persona that I had created and was reinforcing. Exercise Amanda. In my mind, she was an energetic go-getter who gave everything a try.
That moment of clarity led to me standing back and asking IS THAT TRUE? Do you get out of sorts if you don’t exercise? Or have you taken something that brings you joy and turned it into a rule?
Perhaps it was because I thought an active Amanda was more interesting. Or more successful. Who knows, but over time, I’d turned an idea of myself into a loop that ran in my head and became a false truth.
Releasing that false narrative has been freeing. As a mental health coach, it is a reminder that when we question our self-imposed internal rules and stories, we often uncover a more flexible, kinder way to live.
Here is my challenge to you: As you go about your day, pay attention to your thoughts - especially when making decisions or talking with loved ones. What ideas about yourself might be ready for a second look?”
