For many parents/caregivers, the end of secondary school arrives with a confusing mix of emotions. You’re celebrating your child’s achievements— graduation ceremonies, final assemblies—while also feeling the ache of change. University might be just around the corner, and with it comes the quiet question: What will life look like when they’re gone?
I know that it won’t just be me who drives by Lynmore Primary and looks back, picturing my children running around, all innocence and exuberance, and misses those days! And it’s just as natural to look forward and worry about what happens next for them. But living too much in the past can pull us toward sadness and living too much in the future can pull us toward anxiety.
The place where we should spend the majority of our time, where we can be emotionally settled, is the present.
Below are two helpful reflections for parents navigating a new chapter, which can be easily adapted for any significant change.
1. The Benefits of Living in the Present
You experience the joy that’s actually happening
Staying grounded in the present moment allows you to fully feel the pride, excitement, and connection available right now. You notice your child’s confidence, their growing independence, and the small, precious details that will become tomorrow’s memories.
You reduce emotional overwhelm
When you anchor yourself to what is happening today—not what happened years ago or what might happen months from now—you naturally calm your nervous system. Your mind stops racing ahead or spiraling back, giving your emotions space to settle.
You strengthen your relationship with your child
Teenagers sense when we are anxious about their future or nostalgic about their childhood. Being present helps you show up as the parent they need at this moment—steadfast, supportive, hopeful, and emotionally available.
You model resilience
Your child is also navigating a big transition. When you demonstrate the ability to stay present, cope with uncertainty, and appreciate change, they learn these skills through you.
You create a more meaningful goodbye (and a more meaningful next chapter)
Ironically, living in the present makes the upcoming separation easier. When you fully experience these final months at home, you feel more complete and less haunted by “I should have enjoyed this more.”
2. How to Live More Fully in the Present
Practice small moments of awareness
You don’t need meditation sessions (although they are great). Try tuning into one sensory moment each day—your morning coffee, the warmth of the sun, or the sound of the rain. Presence is built through tiny moments of noticing.
Be curious about your emotions and name them - without judging them or yourself for feeling them
Say to yourself: “I’m noticing that I’m feeling nostalgic.”
“I’m noticing that I’m feeling anxious.”
“I’m noticing that I’m feeling proud.”
Acknowledging your feelings and placing distance between them and you helps them move through instead of building up.
Stop fast-forwarding the story
If you catch yourself imagining university goodbyes or worrying about their independence, gently pull yourself back by asking:
“What is actually happening today?”
Often the answer is simple and grounding.
Celebrate the transition instead of resisting it
Create meaningful ways to celebrate the transition with your child - family dinners, photo books, a day trip, or even a conversation about their hopes for the future. Your energy will impact their feelings towards the change – make it positive energy.
Stay connected to your own life
Your child’s transition is also the beginning of your next chapter. Explore interests, friendships, hobbies, or career goals that may have been on pause. Reconnecting with yourself helps reduce the fear of what’s ahead.
Use breath as a reset button
When the emotions feel strong, pause and take one slow, deep breath.
Inhale for four seconds, exhale for six.
This simple rhythm signals safety to your brain and pulls you out of rumination.
Let yourself enjoy what’s good
Guilt sometimes sneaks in when parents enjoy the present while anticipating loss. Give yourself permission to feel joy, pride, and gratitude without waiting for the sadness to catch up.
A Final Thought
The end of secondary school is not just your child’s milestone—it’s yours too. You’ve spent years guiding, supporting, and loving them toward this moment. What a massive achievement!
If you would like help exploring the “what next” please contact me for a no-obligation chat.
